Have you ever had $15 in ice cream tip money and thought to yourself, “Let’s see how fast this can disappear at Whole Foods,” because I know I have. After thinking long and hard about my life decisions recently, I’ve finally made a purchase at Whole Foods.
I’m a boujee shopper now. I’ve said goodbye to Walmart and hello to a lifestyle that I’ll never be able to afford.
I’ve actually been to Whole Foods a few times, but I’ve always been too scared to buy something. Everyone in the store seems so healthy. Sure, I look skinny and in-shape, but the reality is that I don’t have any money at school to buy food and feed myself.
I’m joking, mom. If you consider animal crackers and goldfish to be a food group, then I eat all the time at school.
When I visited Whole Foods in the past, I was afraid that if I wanted to buy a $50 grain of rice that the cashier would look at me and know that I wasn’t living a vegan, non-GMO, green leaf lifestyle like everyone else in the store.
To conquer my fear, I made it my personal mission to go to Whole Foods last week with my ice cream tip money, so that I could finally grow an organic pear and buy something.
I made the trek to the store with my trusty sidekick Jenna, who was understandably thrown for a loop when I told her this was my idea of hanging out.
Watch out Baby Boomers, because Gen Z is coming after your favorite pastime: grocery shopping.
This was Jenna’s first time ever being near a Whole Foods, and you could say that she was shook.
“I never thought I would have an out-of-body experience at Whole Foods,” Jenna said within the first 10 seconds of being in the store. I knew at this moment that I had created a monster.
Just kidding. I’m the real monster here.
Since we wanted to get something for dinner, I ordered only the finest cup of chicken noodle soup in the land. It was glorious.
Also, let’s talk about this seating area. This place is nicer than my house. Scratch that, it’s nicer than any dining area at the University of Georgia, maybe even Versailles.
To end my Whole Foods experience, I thought it would be nice to purchase something for my mom and me to eat at my house another day. I ended up getting butternut squash noodles, a classic dish.
They weren’t bad, but they weren’t good either. Let’s put it this way, I don’t think Olive Garden will be serving butternut squash noodles anytime soon.
This relationship with Whole Foods could be the start of fabulous relationship. It could also be the beginning of me wasting all my ice cream tip money at a grocery store since my parents don’t support this union.
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