The most wonderful time of the year is four days away, and people are starting to freak out because CHRISTMAS IS PRACTICALLY HERE AND THEIR KITCHEN CUPBOARDS ARE EMPTY. As someone who lives and breathes baking 24/7, going to the grocery store to get one simple thing turns into a huge ordeal around the holidays. As a matter of fact, I went to Walmart yesterday to get some sprinkles and saw a whole lot of crazy people. What I observed was so interesting, I thought I’d share.
Here are the 8 types of people you see in the baking aisle during the holidays:
1. The master baker
They know what they want, grab it and go. They don’t spend hours obsessing over what flour or sugar to buy. They always plan ahead and make a list of what they need, so they’re prepared. The master bakers own the baking aisle.
2. The arguer
There’s always that one person in the baking aisle that loves arguing out loud with themself. They think debating on what they want – in front of everyone – is an effective method of picking their baking ingredients out.
3. The clueless spouse
This is my dad 100%. My mom will give him a list of what she wants, but he never knows exactly what to get since there are 1,000 variations of everything. To keep it brief, the spouse that has the unfortunate job of getting whatever their partner wants has a big storm coming in the wonderful world of baking items.
4. The person that’s never baked in their entire life, until now
Maybe it’s their first Christmas where they can’t get away with taking credit for their parents’ cookies anymore, or maybe they’re feeling ambitious – this person has no clue what they’re getting into. You can tell by looking at someone’s face in the baking aisle whether they’ve been there before or not.
5. The person that pretends to be a professional baker
You know them, love them and dislike them all at the same time: the cocky amateurs. They really don’t know what they’re doing, but they think they’re hot stuff. These wannabe Martha Stewart’s think they can hide the fact that they’re buying boxed cake mix, only to bake it later and say it’s homemade. Sure, Jan.
6. The impulsive buyer
10 different colors of frosting? They need them all. Sprinkles of all shapes and sizes? Kitchen necessities. Woah, is that banana extract? They need it, even though they’ll never use it. The extreme focus of the impulsive buyer to every single item in the baking aisle should be applauded.
7. The person that blocks the most desired items
When I need to grab something and be on my merry way, there’s always someone blocking whatever I need. No matter how many times I say ‘excuse me,’ they don’t budge. That’s when I show no mercy and physically move their cart. These people are a danger to the baking community.
8. The person that puts literally everything in their cart
This is the person I aspire to be. They don’t give a crap about what’s going on around them. They aren’t even looking at what’s going in their cart. They’re just sticking out an arm, grabbing whatever comes to them, and peacing out.
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