“Dear Reader,
After careful review and consideration, we regret to inform you that our company will not be moving forward with your application to be Kara McKenna’s personal meatloaf chef. There were a number of strong candidates that applied and to be quite frank, you just ain’t it chief.”
This has been my life for the past 8 months. The message above is basically the response that I’ve been getting back from companies since September 2018. My internship search for this summer has been exhausting.
When I started my junior year of college, I was so excited to look for an internship this summer. I knew in my heart that I would get an amazing internship with a phenomenal company that would help me reach my professional goals.
I’ve applied to about 50+ internships to this date and so far, I’ve gotten about ~45+ rejections.
Of course, not every company straight-out rejected me. They did something even better – they ghosted me, just like a frat boy named “Chad” probably would on Tinder if I used the app.
When I received the first few rejection messages last fall, I remained optimistic because I had plenty of time to find other positions and apply to more companies.
It’s currently April 7, and I still don’t have an internship for this summer.
The rejection train has hit me hard these past two weeks. I’ve interviewed with some absolutely amazing companies. I’m talking about the companies that are always in the news and ranked as having the best intern programs in the nation. Heck, being selected to interview with these companies is a privilege in itself.
When I got not one, but two rejections from these big companies within 24 hours last week, I was absolutely devastated. When I got the first rejection, my initial thought was, “Well at least I still have this other company!” Little did I know that they would call the next day to crush my dreams. It was really sad.
Get the tissues out, because it’s about to get even more sad.
When the second company called me and told me they were not moving forward with my application. I hung up the phone and started cracking up laughing. Like, how funny is that? Not funny at all, but what else was I supposed to do? Cry? I was too exhausted for that, so laughing was the winner.
The point I’m trying to make in this post is that rejection STINKS, and it’s ok to be upset.
Last week was probably one of the worst weeks I’ve had in my entire college career. I felt so unwanted and insignificant. How could something like this be happening to me? I thought I was doing everything right…
My heart was in pain, my soul was in pain and most of all, my head was in SO much pain. I was so stressed out that it felt like someone was actually slicing into my brain with the sharpest object they could find.
It was so hard to act normal and talk to people when out of nowhere I got this stabbing pain in my brain. For some people, that might just be another Monday. But for me, it was a side effect of an unwanted reality that I didn’t want to deal with.
When I had two rejections under my belt last week by Tuesday, I didn’t want to be in a good mood. I didn’t want to be happy. I didn’t want to be funny. I just wanted to be left alone.
And you know what? That’s ok. You don’t have to act like everything’s ok when it’s clearly not.
I could go on and on about rejection, but I really don’t want to dwell on it anymore. The one good thing about rejection is that it’s a great teacher. When I get rejected, it only makes me work that much harder to show all these people what they’re missing out on.
I’m going to show these companies what I’m really made of, and I’m going to thrive, baby. Rejection won’t ever stop me. Every rejection leads one step closer to an acceptance, and I think it’s just around the corner waiting for me.
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